F☺CK

yup. you read the title right. but you're probably thinking i'm pissed off or something like that. well, you're wrong.

i just watched a documentary about the word 'fuck'. the show basically consists of video footages of various important people (VIP) who have said the word 'fuck'.

if you feel offended by the word 'fuck', then you'd better watch this movie.

here's the movie poster


click HERE for a better explanation on the show.

what are your thoughts on usage of words like 'fuck'?

and why do you find it offensive?

oh also, if none of you laughed during the entire movie at some of the comments they made, you're sad. i pity you.

Distasteful Malaysians

this will be an ongoing series. i shall post my findings here. for all to comment. feel free to flame me for doing so, but i believe people should be aware of such distasteful occurrences in Malaysia.

honestly, if you can shed some light as to how something like that is pleasing to the eyes then please share it with me and the entire world because, as the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

i am no fashion critic or have fantastic fashion sense either as i believe in casual wear, such as jeans, t-shirt or polo-tee and a pair of either my favourite puma driving shoes or vans skateboarding shoes.

so, our first contestant shall be this proton wira that's been 'pimped', so to speak. let's take a look at what i think is wrong.





1. it has 2 spoilers. one which is for sedans and the other which is used on hatchbacks. now why would a sedan need a hatchback spoiler eh? better yet, why would a stock wira need a blardy spoiler! downforce and better cornering my ass.

2. it's got a NISMO sticker. NISMO tunes Nissans and i believe they do not make even a single part for any proton or honda or mitsubishi! i really don't understand these people. as a friend of mind said once, the logic is that each sticker from a popular tuning house (ie. JUN Auto, NISMO, TRD, RalliArt) adds 5 horsepower to your car! wow! what a perfect 'after market' part to spice up your vehicle eh? NOT!

3. faux proton perdana. it's like putting socks into your underpants to make it look like you've got a big schlong! it just doesn't work!

4. horrible paint job. there's orange peel from a bumper that obviously wasn't his original one. so i'm guessing he trashed his previous front end and ended up with that and got carried away with all the pointless bodykits and stickers that he's now got a hole in his wallet. assuming he has one.

5. projector headlights. now this would not be totally distasteful, but it looks like a rose among thorns if you ask me.

6. it is parked right in fornt of a pile of rubbish. which is what the car represents, rubbish.

so fellow readers, voice your opinion!

Uni-, Duo-, Tre-

in case you're wondering, the title consists of numerical prefixes of latin origin which basically translates to 1, 2 and 3 in plain english.

'uni' because today is the first day of the rest of the 3rd year 2nd semester in mechanical engineering for me at monash.

'duo' because i could have refurbished my putra recaro sr seats at RM100 off the total price if i had a set (2 seats) to do so! but i already sold my driver's side to some malay dude a couple of months back. so i'll have to settle with a slightly higher price of RM450. at least it's original recaro fabric, foam and workmanship. will take 3 working days to complete. stay tuned in the next month or two for more updates on the seat.

'tre' because it's almost the 3rd freaking month of 2007. fast ain't it? i guess it's gonna be like 2006 which went by so quickly. soon, hans, foo sze, and vanessa would have left for their respective countries (japan and scotland) and i'll be the one left with my dear² flying the malaysian flag (gotta make a pic of myself doing that). so you see, 3rd month, 3 friends and last but not least, a few more months and it'll be 'beatnick's' 3rd year as a hard-ass crime fighting duo battling bad guys with tommy guns and travelling the world. and some other bullshit that you may want to put here: _____________________________________________________________________. well, that's that.

oh yeah, one lala post. i don't understand why lala girls have to wear totally opposite coloured underwear. take this pic i shot a few days back;

see what i mean? if the back is closed up, by all means wear whatever the fuck you want. but it's army camo green with a red bra! oh btw, a pic that i couldn't get was her bright yellow panties that were hanging out like a flag. i mean, come on, it's not attractive or a turn-on or any sort of thing that could give a hard-on. geez. kids nowadays. her father's (i presume) face has been mosaic-ed to protect his shameful visage. so girl in gong-xi-fa-cai red and yellow underwear if you're reading this, 'hong' (red) and 'wong' (yellow) underwear isn't gonna change your luck for 2007, deal with it.

note: didn't notice if she was wearing green socks, or else she'd look like a friggin traffic light!!! RED YELLOW GREEN!!!!

Cruelty Free?

could someone tell me wtf does cruelty-free organic foodstuff means?



their range of products span from salts to drinks. so, does the cruelty-free in the poster boxed in red mean that they were produced in a way as to not be cruel to mother nature? the plant? or is it that they didn't employ slave drivers that crack whips at the workers to keep on working for minimal/no wages?

hmmm, you decide. it's a dumb advert if you ask me.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

may a very prosperous new year begin (if it has not already begun) to one and all. umm, big big business, money come in, good luck...la di da. you know the drill. oh yeah, good health too.

which is why we started out with a family reunion dinner (dad's side) at the good ol' restaurant that none of my parents know including myself, which is why we call it 'len sen shop'. just like we have another good eating place called 'first shop' which is rightfully named because it's the first shop in a row of shop houses. so there.

calm before the storm


what we had (pls translate for me)





food food food good good good


and with that concludes CNY eve dinner. moving on the gong-xi-gong-xi day itself...

slept at 2.30am woke up at 9am to head over to grandma's place. fcking sleepy.
had lasagna and steamed vege mostly. cause it was gooooooood.





i can proudly say i know only 40% of the people in the 2 pictures above. the rest, i don't even know. if you're in the pic and you are the ones i don't know, don't feel bad. cause i really don't know you!

this would probably be the most interesting pic of all, the guy in the pic is mr/uncle latif...er sorry, Datuk Latif. he's the personal physician of the Sultan of Brunei! what up G! hahah. didn't talk to him, cause again, i don't know him and i don't really care.



oh yeah, and the most interesting thing a single person has said to me today at lunch was this:

(everyone's leaving now)
hippy-looking-uncle(HLU): see you ah tong, congrats on getting married (shakes hand)
uncle tong: thanks, see you tonight (shakes hand)
(HLU looks at me while shaking uncle tong's hand and says)
HLU: wah, he's got big hands eh, hope his wife has got big tits for him to grab!
me: o_O"...-_-" WtF? erm...ok....*snigger snigger chuckles to himself*
(they stop shaking hands, uncle tong also in a daze)

so yeah, the most 'WTF' moment of the day.

GONG XI FA CAI to all you pigs!!!

The Orgasmatron.

yup, here it is for all to see. gives apparently the best head massage every, but so far, it only gives me goose pimples. thanks vanessa for letting us crash at your place for orgasmatronic fun. haha.

close up


licensed orgasmatron operator

Aged Cage.

since we got ourselves new furniture, it was also Brandy's turn to get a new house, er cage.

her previous one lasted for about 5 years now. and has seen better days. the epoxy is coming off the cage and the tack welds have broken off. so instead of fixing it, might as well get a new and bigger one. since brandy's a big girl already.

hmm, wth is this.


so after about half an hour putting the cage together and making sure all the fasteners were torqued just right. oh and i had to do some alterations to the door latch as the fellas who welded the cage, forgot that metal would shrink after welding...so the end result is a latch that is so difficult to rotate and move around. got my handy metal filer, some heavy grit sandpaper and my rubber mallet.

and the owner of the cage ignores the eviction notice


after all that. the owner likes her new cage very much. she refused to leave it after a test run of her in the cage. had to drag her out of the cage so we could push the cage into it's proper place.

here's a before and after shot.

Lifestyles Of The Rich and Richer Still.

just got back after a early reunion dinner on my mum's side. i tell you, the house is so friggin huge!

i won't say much but you can pretty much sum it all up by looking at this pic shot from outside the house (the house continues to the right)


and you know you've made it when your house has got one of these


there's a pool out front and 4 garages and like a gazzilion rooms in the house. they just shifted in (my relatives) like a few months back.

personally i think it's overkill. i mean 7 people in the family (mum, dad and 5 daughters) and 2 maids. gosh. madness.

on a side note, remember the sohai 2nd hand car dealer who took ages to renew my roadtax? here's a shot of the company. i shall not say anything else but one word. 'BAD'

Shan's Big Day Part Dos

ah last night was a night of good food and wine tasting. went to 3rd Floor Restaurant. and i really mean the place is called the '3rd Floor Restaurant'.

we had red wine, white wine, champagne, and dessert wine. sweet like fuck man! so i stuck to champagne.

anyway pics do better justice of the night, so here's the pics in chronological order.

diva arrival meet and greet (hug) session


shan on a cam shooting spree


ev looks different, no?


hoo ha!


ladies in attendance


dinner menu


bguh!


terrorizing nipples


the dining area


hehe


cake and speech time


all in the family



end.

Shan's Big Day Part Uno.

yup, i woke at 6.15am to send my dad to office. why you may ask? is nick being a good son, or is he trying to get more ang pow money from dad this chinese new year. well, the answer is neither (but i think good son is more like it).

here's why. 2 days ago i went to get my insurance and road tax done at Autobarn. lame name i know, but bear with me. this is the dealership where i got my putra from. and i have mixed feelings about the putra but that's a whole other story.

i went at about 11am to settle the payment for the road tax and insurance. after leaving that place for about an hour, kurnia insurance SMSed me confirmation that my insurance has been paid and that road tax renewal was possible. i thought to myself all is well. then came the end of that day and no phone call from auto-fucking-barn (AFB from now on).

i woke up the next day to call them and hopefully get the road tax before noon cause it expires on the 7th of February. after i called one of the bosses, he told me that it wasn't ready at all and that it was my fucking fault for going there at 2pm!!! WTF! he wasn't even there on the 6th and i went at 11am!!! ZOMFGCCBKNNCBKTNSSHPBCTMOFO!!! nvrm, they promised that it'll be done by the end of office hours. so fine. i waited and my dad agreed to pick it up on the way home.

however, once my dad reached home, he didn't have any road tax sticker. turns out, they didn't get it done yet because quote: "CIMB won't allow non-CIMB runners to take out the grant to do road tax. due to company merger" unquote. what the fucking hell man. so my dad gave the usual 'Laurence Super Power Megaphone Shouting Power Nine Dragon' treatment to the boss. and the boss said "wah, you pay us RM10 service charge and you expect us to get shouting like that form you?" lagi la piss my dad off. so he ka me ha me ha-ed them to the next dimension.

so that's that. i can't drive the putra. not until saturday. hopefully later today. then i can terrorize the streets of KL with the noise that my straight pipe makes. yup, i put it back on since JPJ has approved my 'mengubahsuai sistem ekzos'. haha!

here's two random pics that don't fit anywhere




and here's a pic for my friends and a very special someone. i'm not telling who, but i think you know pretty well!

I paid RM500 to get head!

if you know me well enough, you'll notice that i purposely left an 'a' out in between 'get' and 'head' in order to make a lewd title that would grab your attention.

but yeah, it should read as 'I paid RM500 to get A head'. what head am i talking about? a 4G93T GSR cylinder head ofcourse! too bad i couldn't find the RS version. but that would be a more expensive head since it's so fucking rare.

good head


i think comments with hidden sexual interpretations are funny. and i have been hearing alot and also dishing out some of them myself. wanna know what else is funny? seeing hans trying to prove a point by washing dishes!



yup, he's proving that he's not a person who can't wash dishes before going off to scotland. hans, you're jist a heid banger!

Lulu Bar.

got back about half an hour ago from lunar bar. can't really sleep yet cause i had 2 roti telur this mamak called pelita.

anyway, attended some IMU medic dude's bday, kah yen i think. yen or yong. can't really remember. cool people.

so i gave a lecture to uncle david about automotive and finance related stuff for a good 45 minutes. then my dear dear called. then spoke to her for a very very good half hour. :D then she had to sleep cause she needs to accompany the little one (egbert, her youngest bro) to school to buy some writing material.

basically, i'm the dull one at the party cause i didn't drink. at least it seemed that way. everyone else was drinking their pants off...as usual.

hans, azree and foo had some passion fruit cocktail thingy called, 'get your honey hot/high' or some ridiculous name like that. tasted alright.

waiting for drinks


passion fruit cocktail thingy


flaming couple, part I


part deux


the vending machine gets a flaming


from this


to this


when we were on the way to drop hans back, both of us heard the song 'walking on air' you know, the one that goes, 'believe it or not, aaaahhhhmmmmm! walking on air...' anyway, we had this vision of someone like michael j. fox from the 80s or 70s doing that graduation jump like this:


imagine him singing that song while doing that! so fcking hilarious man! so yeah, we decided that it'd be a great idea to shoot a photo of ourselves doing that. but alas, due to poor lighting and equipment, the best we could come up with was this:

ready?


believe it or not? i'm walkin' on air...(look at me, moving so fast camera couldn't catch)


yup. that's a detour to stupidity for abit. anyway it's freaking 4.34 in the morning. gotta sleep.

Post working activities.

well yesterday (sunday) i had to go back to the office to finish testing of the solar demo rig. and was also supposed to eat spicy pan mee somewhere in chow kit.

so i hurried the testing and finished at around 3.40pm. called foo sze to schedule the pick up at IMU at vanessa's place. we reached there on schedule at around 4pm. when azree told us that the shop closes at 5pm!!! wtf! and we still needed to fetch paviter from taman midah and hansel from ampang and then fly to chow kit before 5!

so anyway, we headed out and reached PV's house at around 4.20pm. we rushed to hans place to pick him up at 4.45pm. and guess what? after our driver (foo) who drove like a mad person cursing all the 'blardy sunday drivers!' oh, and with the help of our BIG middle finger to whoever was behind



we managed to reach the pan mee place at 4.52pm! yeah, we got out of the land cruiser like proud amazing race winners who've made it to the last check point and it being a non elimination round.

somewhere in chow kit


here's kin kin restaurant!


the amazing race participants: (L-R) azree, reemah (hope i got her name right), vanessa, hansel, foo sze, paviter (not in pic).


the steps to eating spicy pan mee (my style)

1. get the plain old looking pan mee


2. put 6 spoons of 'gun powder'!


3. and if it's not enough, you'll still have plenty of 'ammo' left.


so yeah, overall, it's fucking grade AAAA stuff man. but not spicy enough. compared to the thailand clear tom yum that made me almost the chili god. haha. the shopkeeper and his workers were cool ppl. making random comments as we waited for our food. like when we ordered mineral water then someone asked for a glass of ice, and after he brought the ice he said 'drink from bottle, more feeling' and after he saw me loading up on the chili he said, 'we love our gun powder!' hahhah! damn random man.

the shops been there for ~25 years already and has been on 8TV's 'Ho Chiak!' apparently. and when you've got a good business, good food, appeared on tv, someone's bound to copy you. there's a shop directly opposite Kin Kin that follows the signboard and chili and everything! except it has air-con and doesn't taste as good (so says hansel). so to all those fakers and pirates out there who wanna ruin a good solid business, here's what the shopkeeper of Kin Kin wrote on their walls to inform their customers:





and our food odyssey didn't end there, we went for food at jalan alor later in the evening. ended the day on a relatively high note.

that's all for now. time to pay attention to my siew yok faan.