How My Mind Works.

those who you who know me, would know that sometimes, my mind can come up with the most bizzare scenario or something that no one would have ever thought of. no matter how dumb, dirty, witty, etc it can be.

well, yesterday, i had some free time while attending dear dear's lecture. quarter way through i decided to write an essay from random stimulus from my surrounding. i poured out whatever my brain intercepted and interpreted onto the lecture theater's table.

this is me hard at work


this is the final piece. could have been longer but i ran out of time. don't know if you can read the whole essay so i'm posting it in case anyone's interested.

Rima Round The Roses, Pocket Full Of Posers.

first, i'd like to introduce to you a girl who frequents the MUSA lounge. she normally wears pants...then again who doesn't. but she adds a unique styling to her pants. she thinks she's damn hip-hop or some trendy-super-lala-mui because she rolls one of her pant leg up to her knee! and she has been seen doing this on two occasions already. one with baggy jeans and another with those lala-mui type pants. i don't even know what the fuck it's called. so here she is, in a sea of more or less normal people, she shines like the hip-hop star she aspires to be.



should she strike back again with her awful fashion sense, i shall snap some photos and post it up her! buahahaha!

on another note, i guess orange shop is really closed down for good. i saw some welders removing the awnings from the orange shop premise. maybe that's what got them into trouble, the fact that the awnings were not approved or something. we'll have to wait and see. medan food court is still having really good business. and so is my favourite penang chap fan stall.



now we move on to the happenings of yesterday. i was supposed to arrive at fatty crab seafood for rima's birthday dinner but i ended up arriving at 7.30-ish. needless to say, most of the food was already eaten leaving only a few slices of toast bread, half a plate of fried rice, 2 sate sticks and some odds and ends of the crab itself. most of you should know that i eat really really slow. so, by the time i finished the fried rice, most of the remaining food had vanished. which is when kuan eng, who was seated next to me, decided to order more food!

there was an awkward pause as the sound of munching and breaking of crab shells had abruptly stopped. i was still finishing my fried rice and half a crab claw. then the food arrived. this time i grabbed as much as i could and put it on my plate, if not sure die one! anyway i was busy eating as much as i could if not i'll end up damn hungry...which i am actually at the moment i'm typing this. my breakfast is waiting downstairs for me. i digress. no pics from the dinner as you know with eating crab, comes dirty and messy fingers so no pictures of the wonderful dining table where 16 ppl; 14 imu, 1 nothingham and 1 monash had joined forces to make the most noise and occupy the most space on the 1st floor of fatty crab (fei hai! hahaha) restaurant in taman megah.

the bill was RM504.60. wah lau eh...food was alright but not worth it for me as i hardly had any food. my tally was 1 crab 2 bowls of fried rice, 1 stick of sate, 1 iced chinese tea. and i paid RM32.50 for that. sigh.

later van,hans and myself wanted to go to williams to chill out for abit, but the pai kia (rima) wanted A&W. so guess who won? birthday girl la! after much hesitation i headed for A&W. thought i would be one of the last to arrive this place, but turns out i was the 2nd one to arrive. the others took like 15 mins to reach. hans took a wrong turn by using 1utama route, don't even know how the hell he did that.

so we got enough tables and chairs for the 15 ppl strong party. "why 15, i thought got 16 one?" well, my good friend kuan eng had to go back home to his girlfriend because she was scolding him for being out until 10 pm! wtf!!! thank god my dear dear is wayyyyy more understanding than that. and i like the phrase vanessa used to describe the lot of IMU guys who had girlfriends, "the guys in IMU are ruled by the skirt," haha. nice one van.

since it was rima's bday, i decided to ask the manager of a&w to bring out their mascot for rima. embarrassed as she was, i went up and talked to the manager but he said you need to 'booking the bear first la'. so that plan failed. but, the manager did not disappoint as within a minute or so after speaking to him, he gave us alot of party hats and bear masks! rima was really speechless and kept on saying 'oh my god oh my god!' hahah.

after much persuasion, we managed to get the pai kia to put on the mask and hat to look like a proper pai kia,



and then we decided to have some fun with the masks. ala psycho killer style:



just imagine the sound when the killer approaches you like in the picutre, CHING CHING CHING!!! scary leh?

i have a video of rima giving her shocked face and telling me what her aspirations are, now that she's *ahem* "19" years "young". so if anyone wants the vid, just leave a comment with your email and i'll send it to you. it's about 2MB in 3gp format. i can't post it on youtube because i promised rima i wouldn't. but there are other ways. haha.

so, happy birthday rima the pai kia! :)

Guys Night Out.

damn gay night la.

started at decanter in hartamas then after like an hour of talk kok-ing sern liang and myself persuaded hong to go to asia heritage row. he was like, oi meh, diu. haha.

so, me being the only sober one who drank nothing but mineral water as always, was the designated driver for the night. and so, 4 guys jumped into derek's kelisa and off we went to conquer kl.

we soon reached the clubbing district and as usual, faced a massive jam. so we continued to make fun of other drivers and i decided to get out of the car to stretch my back. yes, i did get out of the car while stuck in the jam. i contemplated to dance around the kelisa like a mad fool, but the traffic was about to move.

so we rolled a few feet and were at a standstill again. this time a cab full of ang moh chicks pulled up to my right. someone shouted ang moh chicks! so i turned to my right and one of them was looking in my direction and smiled at me, so the logical and un-malaysian thing to do was to smile and wave. she waved back. then everyone in the car was like "oooooooooo". wtf.

so we kept on rolling until after the shangri-la junction then it was smooth flowing. we cruised along asia heritage row (AHR) looking for a parking and as usual, i asked the guy to give us a cheaper parking rate. it's a good idea too because why should you pay RM10 to park when those so called 'jagas' don't even own the place! so you just ask them how much, they'll say RM10 then you go 'aiyo! cheaper la. RM5?' and the macha wll go 'ok ok' and bobbles his head while saying that. so we parked and went on to maison.

was forced to pay cover of RM35, and like i said, i took mineral water. so we walked around hunting for a table. we eventually found one about 10 feet from the dance floor and next to the bar. while we were head bobbing to music i turned around to suddenly see this eurasian chick standing on my left saying 'hi' in a very slurred tone that only drunk people have. ok la, it wasn't that bad la but she looked wasted, judging from the smeared mascara. so i just waved and said hi and she moved on to the dance floor. i looked at my mates and like wtf? oh well.

then we met zen. a very drunk zen that is. definitely not a zen in a zen like state. anyway he could hardly walk straight, his voice hoarse and eyes red. he rambled on and on about his birthday, opening 2 bottles and getting drunk (so pathetic), and he kept dissing my mineral water bottle! taking my bottle and shouting 'what is this! mineral water?!! tipsy!' then proceeded to smash the base of my bottle on our table several times before stopping to put it down and said 'sorry'. wtf man wtf!!! control yourself! if you can't drink, don't act all macho about it!

here's 2 pics of what being in a 'zen' like state looks like



pics don't do proper justice. i should've taking more. dammit.

so we proceeded to the dance floor. not packed as on a thursday night. man, thursday nights are good. anyway, we starting strutting out on the dance floor when sern liang got gatal and decided to dance with this tipsy/drunk/acting stupid chick who was doing apparently her version of a very bad tango. very bad. imagine incoherent ballroom dancing. her friend who was dancing with this other guy was no better. fuckers almost punched me while doing that hand twirling thing. knnccbk. sern liang got the full treatment, he had it all, a girl whom he was getting er, friendly with and she was grinding him. however, there's always a price to pay, he got uppercut so many times by her while she was grinding him. you see, she's shorter than ah liang by 1.5 heads so she'll randomly grind upwards banging her head against his face. it reached a point where he ad to go to the washroom to clean his glasses from all her oily stains! hahah!

he only managed to get her msn contact.

we decided to end the night at devi's corner in hartamas where we would collect our cars and head home.

that time would be around 4 a.m.

ps. derek 'dances' like a tree swaying back and forth during strong winds or a storm. haha.

I See A Dead Person.

a few days back while driving home from uni. i noticed a police truck that had a few guys sitting at the back. so i was thinking it must've been those 'operasi' that they had and were headed back to the station but upon closer inspection, i noticed feet sticking out on the floor and further up in the truck was covered with black plastic. yes in malaysia we don't have proper body bags. we use garbage bag like material to transport our dead from the crime scene. talk about sloppy.

i wasn't shocked or grossed out. i just started to think about life. or more like death. when we die, we don't really give a shit about anything do we? assuming there's a God then we'll be judged and see if our final residing place is further than 6 feet below (hell) or somewhere in the skies apparently (heaven). but when we die, we don't care about anything. all past accomplishments mean nothing once you're dead. the only reason why there's such a big huu-haa once you die is because of the living people whom the deceased knew.

the living fuss about the dead. come to think of it, the living fuss about a lot of other things. a dead guy couldn't give a fuck if it was the end of the world! so you see, like that dead guy/gal being transported in the police truck, he/she couldn't give 99 fucks about what's happened/happening/going to happen. the only people who'll fuss, will be the living.

can you imagine? all the things that you've worked so hard in life suddenly becomes meaningless. money, love, friends among other things are of no significance. i'm guessing psychologically, this is why people are afraid to die. especially when they have a gun pointed to their head. the typical scenario would be the victim pleading not to pull the trigger, saying that they've got a wife and 3 hamsters, but when the trigger is pulled, does any of it matter anymore? true the family will suffer a terrible loss of a breadwinner (sole even) but to the dead guy with a hole in his head, do you think there is anything to worry about? the dead don't regret, period.

which is why, life itself is so precious. once you're dead you're dead. there's no coming back to do the stuff you've always dreamed of doing and all that crap. you just sleep an eternal sleep. which is why death if so beautiful. face the facts, people die. it's just the way things are. no point in talking at a funeral about stuff the deceased should have done in his life because it doesn't matter to the dead guy! and nothing you or anyone can say to change that fact.

i'm not looking forward to death anyway. i just accept the fact that it'll happen. dictated by probability and statistics my time will come and so will yours.

so live it. don't kill it.

You Want Lies With That?

late last night i watched a movie called 'Fast Food Nation'.

it was gross as there were cows being slaughtered not the old fashion way. but by destructive modern day stainless steeled machines. and it was quite fucked up. you'd have to watch it to comprehend la.

the movie started out as a non-fiction novel written by eric schlosser. more details HERE
should you be more interested.

the movie i would say, might be biased and an attempt by PETA (people eating tasty animals) to promote all of us into becoming vegetarians.

well, i can't function without meat, so there.

to summarize the movie, our burgers have shit in them. i felt horrible for the mexicans who were crossing US borders to earn 10USD/hour but also facing the possibility of loosing an arm and a leg while working at such meat packing facilities. you can also educate yourself on how cows get turned into burger patties. and the process isn't fully explained until the end of the movie where they finally reveal, the 'kill floor'.

so, still wanna eat McDs? or any other processed meat products?

movie details HERE

300.

his helmet was stifling, it narrowed his vision, and he must see far. his shield was heavy, it threw off his balance, and his target is far away.

that is the best line in the movie. what movie am i talking about? well, if you can't tell from the title of this post, well it's '300' the best movie thus far of 2007. i suggest you watch it and watch it again. because that's what i did, and beat, hans, vanessa and myself were freaking pumped up after the show!

it's purely a testosterone driven show with 2 hrs of non-stop in your face fighting/killing/slaughtering and all out war against the persian empire.

if any of you get a chance to read the graphic novel, you'd notice that zack snyder followed closely to the heart of the novel. almost all the lines from the movie were adapted from the novel even up to the detail of the arrow tips the persian army used. zack snyder, thumbs up to you man.

i'll be waiting impatiently for the original dvd to be released. and i'm also inspired to follow the exercise regiment used by the actors and stunt men for the move as much as i can. read about it HERE.


well the past week i had no connection to the digital world hence the lack of updates but anyway, you may have missed:

1. orange, pink and corner shop are currently closed down due to MPSJ. apparently they weren't operating with a valid license.

check this mofo out.


a disgruntled owner of orange shop


yay yay ada tong gas, yay yay ada tong gas!


by the time i got there, most of the shop was confiscated including water pipes!


well, i couldn't care much for orange and pink but corner shop! no more good wanton mee for awhile i hope.

2. a distasteful malaysian.

now to digress, look at this pic, see anything wrong with it?


if you noticed the guy has one pant leg shorter than the other then you're smart! it looks to me like this wasn't an accident but the fella had cut of a portion of his left pant leg. i guess it's that 'hip hop y'all' fashion sense...or is it nonsense?

3. bad sentence construction.

another thing malaysians are good at, poor sentence construcion. here's a very good example:


now, i have nothing against amoil, but the guy who came up with that tag line is obviously trying to hard to make a catchy sentence which actually ends up being so bad that i and my dear dear laughed our asses off. no offense to the guy wearing his company's t-shirt. for those of you who don't get the joke, what that sentence means is that they use old oil for future engines, which is totally daft! why would anyone want to do that? it should read, 'tomorrows oil for todays engine' ain't that right?


4. futuristic toilets.

another random pic. i was driving past bb plaza and i noticed a new futuristic toilet had popped up on the sidewalk! like those you'd find in australia with the fancy buttons i presume.


things i have missed:
1. pv and foo's drinking party
2. dear dear.

yeah, pretty much it for now.